Monday, June 30, 2008

How would you feel if a pair of eyes stare at you when you go to bed...

How would you feel if a face observes you while you are alone at home...

How would you feel if an unknown man follows you wherever you go..no matter where.....

How would you feel if your life is serving as an uncut, uncensored story to someone..24 x 7....

scared?? helpless??? horrified?? nauseating??
silly?? stupid?? foolish??? funny????

I felt all of them at once......
It is an episode in my life which i would love to forget..but might not be able to......
stress hormones were on a high..muscles under constant tension....reduced attention span..
tachycardia..insomnia.. what not!!

With all these happening in my body, i saw a man, dressed in a black coat and a small blue hat..
looking at me all the time... peeping from behind the curtains or a wall....
or simply standing in front of the door and staring..... just staring.....
dark face like a stone with no expression..the only striking feature being the pair of blood shot eyes...eager to take in what they are seeing..every second..just absorbing the content..
as if to keep a watch.. to know... know everything about me.....

I was terrified... to an extent that i spent many sleepless nights looking around my room to make sure he was not there...and i found him..wherever i saw...every corner of the room.....
I vacated my room and started sleeping in mom's room....thought it could set things right....
but there he was again....with the pair of eyes boring into me.... i closed the doors and could feel him standing right in front of the door....with his gaze fixed to the door as if expecting to see me the moment it opens....It was like living with him all through the day....yet not knowing anything about him....

It was hard.. hard to breathe... hard to think of anything but him looking at me...
hard not to scream...not to cry....not to become weak..at least outwardly.....
And it was hard to avoid.....forget....adjust....adapt....or get over with....

I lost something which was more essential to a man than oxygen or water...
to live...not merely exist....
I lost my peace of mind.......


Days passed...like they would never change.........
But like everything else in the world, they had to......
Life teaches us to endure..to realize.. to accept... to change..
and to live a better tomorrow.......

And the fact that i'm writing this here..
with a relatively sound body, mind and soul proves that right.........

P.S.: hope i dint bore you.... this is my first.... so.........

Bhavya Karne